The Perfect Christmas Gift? I Think Not.

Can you find what's wrong with this picture? (Hint: It's about what you can't see). 

With the holiday season approaching, I must digress with the likelihood of more and more families opting to give pets as gifts this Christmas.  

While an increasing amount of experts have advised against doing so, the reality is that people are going to do what they want to do, regardless.  While those for mentioned experts have related their concerns due to probability of people being scammed, it’s isn’t necessarily the business aspect I am so distasteful of; 

it’s more about where that puppy (or kitten) came from.

The one that probably looks so ridiculously cute wearing a red bow, carefully placed in box with an open lid.

The one that is going to cause the receiver of the “gift” to squeal in excitement and pure joy at the site of such an adorable little animal.

The one that has become a stereotypical Hallmark holiday card sentiment, 

the memorable television commercial,

 the scene in many of Hollywood adaptations.

In this case, the reality is more about what you can’t see; and it’s something that certainly wouldn’t bode well on a Christmas card: 

Puppy mills.

Now before you peg me as a 

Debbie Downer (it’s quite a sad reality, folks),

or the Lorax (I speak for the animals, here),

or the Grinch (proclaiming to rob many of their Christmas of pet-giving),

Please become aware of puppy mills by reading more here.  

It’s more than just about being an informed consumer. 

It’s about having compassion;

 and frankly for me, it’s more about being a decent human being in general.

While we may not be able to change where the puppy stores get their pets from, or be able to divide and conquer every puppy mill establishment in the United States, there is something thing that we CAN do:

Don’t shop at puppy stores, 

forgo the pulls of interest-free financing and a free puppy starter kit. 

  Opt to check out and investigate local breeders, 

and never underestimate the love of a shelter animal. 

Before I’m pegged as a hypocrite, I must profess that I visit the puppy store near our townhouse for my daughter, whose love for cats and dogs knows no limits.  However, on a more often occasion I take her to the nearby Virginia Beach SPCA so we can visit all the wonderful shelter animals and donate all the change that we can possibly find. 

This is my husband and my daughter with a puppy (at the puppy store) that, while we had no intention (or the financial means) of purchasing, did melt our hearts nevertheless.

(Side note: I cried when we left; I hope so much that he will go home to a wonderful forever home).

Yet, I know in my heart that this puppy, who had recently gotten over an upper respiratory infection, was shipped from Oklahoma, and currently on sale for $1800, came from a puppy mill.  It is hard to rationalize how any breeder that loved their animals could sell them without knowing what person or family they were going home with. 

Please keep in mind this holiday season that giving a pet as a gift isn’t an idea to be advised against due to poor business practices; 

it’s not the best of ideas because a pet isn’t an item to be gorgeously wrapped and placed under the tree Christmas morning.

A pet is a long-term commitment, and rightfully so:

They become a part of the family.

(If you are interested in taking a stand against the inhumane practices of puppy mills, please head here to become  part of a petition from The Animal Rescue Site; we owe it to our four-legged friends).

A Shopaholic's Guide to Not Shopping on Thanksgiving

Note to self: My wallet is observing this holiday.

Anyone who knows me could easily tell you that I’m all about scouring for the best deal; in fact, I relish in my ability of doing so.  A self-entitled shopaholic, I spare no expense at allocating lengthy amounts of time trying to achieve personal fulfillment through finding the best price on just about anything.  While I often tell myself that it's enjoyable, I know that in reality it’s a quite vapid and wasteful hobby to be so fond of.

To put it simply: having MORE stuff doesn’t make me a better person, nor does it make me feel like a better person.  So, on all days of the year to go shopping, you’d think Black Friday Eve (aka Thanksgiving) would be my beck and calling, a surrendering of my self-entitled shopaholic tendencies.  However, my fondness for finding incredible deals becomes overshadowed by what actually makes me feel like a better person.

And that’s a good conscience.

Now, for those of you who are enticed to scouting the sales after eating Thanksgiving with your families, please be aware I’m not criticizing or judging you.  I think it’s unfortunate that so many retailers have made it more difficult for consumers by offering better sales on that day, sales that make it even remotely affordable for so many hardworking families to get their holiday shopping done. 

However, while there’s pandemonium over door buster deals and expletives filling the air over the sight of long checkout lines, remember this:

There’s people who have given up their Thanksgiving to ensure you successfully complete that holiday shopping by working that day.

It’s a thought that’s enough to keep my shopaholic self at home, even if my silent protest doesn’t result in retailers getting the message or persuade shoppers in doing the same.  It’s what makes me feel like a better person, the person I feel more fulfilled in being.

If you are interested in what retailers are closed on Thanksgiving, you can check them out here.

And if you are among those that are against the whole connotation that has become of Thanksgiving (Black Friday Eve), you can add your name to petitions currently filed to influence retailers to let their employees spend the holiday as it should be spent, by going here.

While Thanksgiving is a time to reflect and be grateful, it’s also important to note the history of this holiday and why we can’t forget how it came to be. It’s a thought that has circulated through my mind often this week, as I can’t help but relate it to the current debate regarding those who are sacrificing everything to come to the United States.    

But that’s another blog, entirely.

Happy Thanksgiving.

  

Why I Love Adele (And Why It's Pretty Much Impossible Not To)

Because Adele on vinyl is the next best thing to her singing live;
Photo taken at my home of my turntable and vinyl copy

I can say with much certainty, I'll never forget when I bought this album.  It wouldn't be surprising for anyone to admit that it's not common to remember exactly when you bought a certain album - be it a cassette tape, CD, or vinyl record - unless it had a personal impact on your life at the time.  Well, in my case this album (it was a CD version, by the way) did just that.

I had returned back to the United States after a six month deployment with the Navy, finding myself disassociated at what had happened in the world; such as, 

What movies have come out, what music is on the radio now!? 

As someone who enjoys keeping up on that sort of thing, I was completely lost.  I had reserved a hotel room that evening before flying out the next morning to visit family, and I decided I needed to venture out and find out all that I had been missing.  Adele's 21 album had been released and something told me that I had to have it; as if it would fill the void of everything I had missed while at sea.

And, it certainly did. The only thing I can't remember is how many times I played that album, sitting alone in my hotel room thinking, 

I am not alone, after all. 

This past weekend Adele's follow-up album 25 was released, and it's (not surprisingly) exceeding predicted record sales.  It's an incredible accomplishment for any recording artist, especially for one that's around the same age as yours truly.  It's not difficult to understand why so many have come to relate, to adore, and to feel connected to Adele's music; her honesty is so clearly conveyed through every single song.  

It is that honesty that I feel, and that I believe, is why we all have relished in seeing her career soar.  Her ability to create such beautiful music that reflects her personal experiences, as well as her willingness to share it with the world, is why it's impossible not to love her.  

As vivid as I can today with 25, just as I had listening to 21 in my hotel room years ago, I can identify with all the emotions she flawlessly puts into her music; emotions that I struggle to even put into words.  

In relating to her music through each of her albums, 

we too grow up along with it.  

Hello, Adele;

 It's so nice to have you back. 

Four years is a long time to be off the airwaves;
Cover art from 21, photo taken by Lauren Dukoff for XL Recordings & Columbia Records

The Adventures Beyond The Looking Glass

Some may say that it would seem my child is spoiled, that as a parent I have overindulged in the world that as a parent I have created for her.  I am not the least bit surprised, nor fault anyone for feeling so.  I am well aware of that belief and the influence it may have on her childhood, but there are other factors that have impacted the reason it may appear that I give Emery all that I can, and then further go above and beyond.

Here is my daughter in her new Radio Flyer wagon, dressed as Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz; a look that she insisted upon donning this particular morning, even requesting herself that I put bows on her braids.  Everyday seems like Halloween around my home, as Emery adores dressing up as characters she has grown to idolize.  There has been a frustrating amount of laundering this attire, but that's okay by me.  Her wagon has somewhat become a piece of furniture in my home, as I'm hesitant to take it outdoors, as that will require quite a bit of cleaning up when it's time to be stored inside.  I may seem like a ridiculous parent, as portrayed in this photograph; one in which resembles a peak into Emery's world.  What isn't pictured is what you cannot see, what has driven me as a parent to be so enthusiastic and proactive about spoiling Emery through endless dress-up clothes and afternoons spent inside a Radio Flyer that I'm afraid of taking outdoors.  While she is doing fantastically well, aside from her joyous expression pictured, the reality is that Emery was born with Cystic Fibrosis.  

I'm ashamed to admit that there are days that we have the luxury of forgetting her diagnosis.  She has been incredibly healthy, and her doctors have remained positive that she appears to remain so; at least, for now.  But even with all the toys in the world, all the activities and adventures and love a child could ever possibly need or want, it is difficult to shake the reality that statistics give people like her a life expectancy of 39.  That is a hollowing fact that I, no matter what, have been unable to shake from my thoughts and worries.

I'm not Mom of the Year nor do I aspire to attain such notoriety, and I certainly am not seeking apologetic words from anyone.  In fact, I rarely mention Emery's condition because I do not want it to define and shape her life, or for people to see her differently.  This is how I want Emery to be seen; for the magical, whimsical, and imaginative world in which she thrives, and how beyond grateful I am as her parent to be a part in it.  I will not let her existence be influenced by current statistics, at least for as long as I am able to.  

One of my favorite stories of all time is Alice in Wonderland, and I frequently think of one quote that resonates with my feelings as a parent, and especially as Emery's mother: 

 "The greatest gift you could give her is a lifetime of adventures."   

Dorothy dresses, red wagons, and little blue bows in all, I'm never bothered by the opinions of spoiling her.  No matter what, what I hope others see is how relentlessly I will seek in giving her all the adventures to fulfill a lifetime. 

   

There's people out there like you.

Over two years ago I became a mother to my daughter, Emery.  There has never been anything else like it in my whole life; easily the most rewarding thing I've have done in my 28 years of existence.  But it has not gone without it's challenges, as being a military spouse and a full-time student are also additional roles that I fulfill in this existence.

Miles away from my home of origin, displaced from all the familiar faces that I have been fortunate enough to call family and friends have also not been the easiest of circumstances.

Simply put, while I am a mother, a military spouse, and a full-time student, there is a feeling of having not much time or energy to fulfill the part of having my own identity.  Some days I tend to wander off in my own thought processes and feel a void of not quite knowing who I am anymore, beyond the roles that I fulfill.

I certainly can presume that there are other individuals that feel similarly;  I myself am an introvert, so it can be difficult to connect to others that get my drift.  This is what this blog will seek in providing: a place for others that fulfill so many roles and responsibilities in their life and yet feel somewhat lost in the Wonderland of it all to find themselves again.

And sometimes, a little music helps me find my way back again.